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"Sometimes all you can do is just laugh!"

A football fan

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First woman: My son is in bed, a victim of footbal (жертва футбола)l.
Second woman: But I didn't know that he played football.
First woman: He doesn't But he is a football fan and he sprained his larynx (зд. потерял голос) at the match last Sunday.

Postman

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A doctor told his patient that there was nothing really the matter with him (нет ничего серьезного). "All you need is more outdoor life, walk two or three miles regularly every day and you'll feel much better. What's your business (Чем вы занимаетесь)?
" I am a postman, docotor. "

Empty stomach

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"Mummy, I have a stomachache (у меня болит живот)," said Nelly, a little girl of six.
"That's because you had no lunch. Your stomach is empty. You would feel better (ты будешь чувствовать себя лучше) if you had something in it."
That afternoon a friend came to see Nelly's mother. While they talked the friend said that he haid a bad headache (сильная головная боль) the whole day.
"That's because it is empty," said Nelly. " You would feel better if you had something in it."

Keep the bottle tightly corked

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The doctor smiled as he entered the room:
"You look much better today."
"Yes, I follow the instructions (следую указаниям) on your medicine bottle."
"What were they?"
"Keep the bottle tightly corked (крепко закрытой)".

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