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"Sometimes all you can do is just laugh!"

A young lad was visiting a church

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A young lad (молодой парень) was visiting a church for the first time (первый раз), checking all the announcements and posters along the walls. When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby usher (служителя), "Who are all those men in the pictures?"
The usher replied, "Why, those are our boys who died in the service". Dumbfounded(ошеломленный), the youngster asked, "Was that the morning service (утренняя служба) or the evening service?"

Lazy Husband

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"I'm ashamed (мне стыдно) of the way we live," wife said to her lazy husband, our Santa, who refused (отказался) to find a job.
"My father pays our rent, my mother buys all of our food, my sister buys our clothes, my aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed."
Santa rolled over on the couch (перевернулся на диване). "You should be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless (никчемные) brothers of yours never give us a thing!"

Progress is made by...

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Progress is made by lazy men (ленивыми) looking for an easier way to do things.
                                                                                                                                    

Give a man a fish

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him (Научи его) how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
                     

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